One Step Forward, Three Steps Back

The past two days have been a reminder that changing my lifestyle is not as hard as it sounds... It's harder. There are moments when I feel healthier – like I am taking a step forward. My skin feels tighter and my jeans feel loose. My neck doesn’t feel as puffy. And then there are moments like today, where I revert to my default habits and take three incredibly delicious steps back.

ONE STEP FORWARD: I haven't had any Diet Coke in two days and I have been incredibly blessed to not have any headaches. I have been drinking what has felt like an obscene amount of water, but it has been far from my goal. 64oz Monday and 80oz Tuesday. While this is an amazing step in the right direction considering the fact that I never usually drink water --- EVER --- I am still frustrated by my inability to complete the challenge I have set for myself. Ultimately, I must come to the realization that it isn’t actually about drinking a gallon a day, but is instead about changing my habits to reflect better choices. And let me tell you, after pee-ing constantly all day long, I feel like a champ for drinking all that water.

Look at what a Champ I am!!!

 THREE STEPS BACK: Working in Student Affairs means working evenings with students. Students tend to show up to programs when food is provided, and oftentimes that food includes pizza, cookies, candy or all of the above. Last night, at an LGBT Panel Discussion put on by two RAs in my building, I was a little bit of a piggy. I knew I only had one Weight Watchers point left for the day. I knew I would regret my decision. And the moment I finished eating the third slice (yes, three – I’m embarrassed to admit it, but it is better to be truthful) I felt like a terrible person. Resisting temptation is my greatest weakness. I can usually steer clear of eating junk if I steer clear of junk. But when it is right there in front of me, flaunting its cheesy goodness and smelling all delicious, how can I resist?

The one amazingly good thing I can take away from my foodie faux pas is that I was eager to start anew today. My old reaction to a night of binge eating would be to assume that it was worthless to continue trying to be healthy and just keep eating. “Might as well really enjoy myself and start anew next week,” I would say. Well, NOT TODAY. Today I got right back on that horse. Today I took charge of the situation.

Maybe this shows that I am learning. Maybe this really is the start of a new me! My moment of indulgence on cheesy goodness wasn’t for nothing. I have to put in the work and suffer the consequence of those extra calories, but I also learned that I can take charge of my weight loss if I want to.

So maybe last night, there were only two steps back J